Blood Has Been Shed "Spirals"

It's amazing this review is in any way coherent, not just a jumble of lkjij fwecsl asdwe, because I'm definitely targeting keys with closed fists (headbutts for spaces). If the NFL mimicked the NBA and played music during its games, Spirals would immediately propel punters -- hell, even me, babies and flowers, the entire catalogue of the hilariously unintimidating -- to Sean "Lights Out" Merriman status. I wouldn't poke, prod, or otherwise provoke Stephen Hawking if he had access to this album.

Calling Spirals heavy is like calling cancer an inconvenience, and Blood Has Been Shed might've been created solely to allow Howard Jones to fulfill his psychotic screaming quota, because Killswitch Engage obviously isn't meeting his needs. Though glimpses of his beautiful clean vocals and bits of melodic guitar work are sprinkled throughout this 2003 release, everything else is paradoxical harmonious-destruction, a fourteen track mosh-marathon that recalls a neatly organized plane-train wreck. There are two questionable tracks of windchimes, tings and tinks, but they're probably part of a cruel but clever joke: to trick the subjects of random Spirals-inspired pummelings, in their fleeting moments of consciousness, with glimpses of hope, in reality allowing their man-turned-monster attacker to recharge his punches and, if he's sufficiently sadistic, to accessorize his raw-to-the-bone knuckles with gravel or broken glass.

Before listening to this album, I fervently rejected the suggestion that music (or other media) could inspire or incite violence. Now, honestly, I'd barely feel safe knowing each copy of Spirals came packaged with an ambulance and full EMS team. If Blood Has Been Shed ever tours my city, I hope they have the decency to play the hospital.

But, yeah, before my computer short-circuits from the blood pouring from my knuckles: good album.

Unless you're already in a padded cell, fit yourself with a straightjacket: Blood Has Been Shed - "Greetings From The Gallows"

Pick it up from Ferret Records.